Things Found Only in America
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to
your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap
parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make
the sick walk all the way to the back of
the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the
front.
4. Only in America......do people order
double cheese burgers, large fries, and a
diet Coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both
doors to the vault open and then chain the
pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars
worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering
machines to screen calls and then have
call waiting so we won't miss a call from
someone we didn't want to talk to in the
first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs
in packages of ten and buns in packages
of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word
'politics' to describe the process so well:
Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have
drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to
your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap
parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make
the sick walk all the way to the back of
the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the
front.
4. Only in America......do people order
double cheese burgers, large fries, and a
diet Coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both
doors to the vault open and then chain the
pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars
worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering
machines to screen calls and then have
call waiting so we won't miss a call from
someone we didn't want to talk to in the
first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs
in packages of ten and buns in packages
of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word
'politics' to describe the process so well:
Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have
drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.
Subject: How to save the airlines
>>>
>>> Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first
>>> place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking
>>> strippers. What the heck! The attendants have gotten old and
>>> haggard-looking. They don't even serve food anymore,
>>> so what's the loss? The strippers would at least triple the alcohol
>>> sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin.
>>> And, of course, every businessman in this country would start
flying
>>> again, hoping to see naked women.
>>> Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a
salary,
>>> thus saving even more money Hell, I suspect tips would be so
good
>>> that we could charge the women for working and have them kick
back
>>> 20% of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."
>>> Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing
naked
>>> women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the
airline
>>> industry would see record revenues.
>>> This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right - a
>>> golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset. Why the hell
>>> didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything
myself?
>>>
>>> Sincerely,
>>>
>>> Bill Clinton
>>>
>>> Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first
>>> place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking
>>> strippers. What the heck! The attendants have gotten old and
>>> haggard-looking. They don't even serve food anymore,
>>> so what's the loss? The strippers would at least triple the alcohol
>>> sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin.
>>> And, of course, every businessman in this country would start
flying
>>> again, hoping to see naked women.
>>> Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a
salary,
>>> thus saving even more money Hell, I suspect tips would be so
good
>>> that we could charge the women for working and have them kick
back
>>> 20% of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."
>>> Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing
naked
>>> women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the
airline
>>> industry would see record revenues.
>>> This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right - a
>>> golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset. Why the hell
>>> didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything
myself?
>>>
>>> Sincerely,
>>>
>>> Bill Clinton
--You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.
--You call me "Whiteboy", "Cracker", "Honkey", "Whitey" and you
think it's OK.
--But when I call you, nigger, Kike, Towelhead, Sand-nigger, Camel
Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink you call me a racist.
--You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why
are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?
--You have Miss Black America.
--You have the United Negro College Fund.
--You have Martin Luther King Day.
--You have Black History Month.
--You have Cesar Chavez Day.
--You have Yom Hashoah
--You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi
--You have the NAACP.
--You have BET.
--If we had WET(white entertainment television) we'd be racists.
--If we had a White Pride Day you would call us racists.
--If we had Miss White America, we'd be racists.
--If we had white history month, we'd be racists.
--If we had an organization for only whites to "advance" our lives,
we'd be racists.
--If we had a college fund that only gave white students
scholarships, you know we'd be racists.
--There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US, yet
if there were "White colleges" that would be a racist college.
--In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for
your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you
would call us racists.
--You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not
afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride,
you call us racists
--You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us.
--But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or
beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a
threat to society, you call him a racist.
--I am proud. But, you call me a racist.
-----Why is it that only whites can be racists?
TO ALL THE KIDS
-WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!
-First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked
and/or drank while they were pregnant.
-They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from
a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
-Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our
tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored
lead-based paints.
-We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or
cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no
helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
-As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no
car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
-Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was
always a special treat.
-We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a
bottle.
-We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one
bottle and
-NO ONE actually died from this.
-We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and
drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't
overweight because .
-WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !
-We would leave home in the morning and play all day,
as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
-No one was able to reach us all day.
-And we were O.K.
-We would spend hours building our go-carts out of
scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we
forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few
times, we learned to solve the problem.
-We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no
video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video
movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell
phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat
rooms.......
-WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
-We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and
there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
-We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the
worms did not live in us forever.
-We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made
up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we
were told it would happen, we did not put out very
many eyes.
-We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and kno
cked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and
talked to them!
-Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the
team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with
disappointment. Imagine that!!
-The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law
was unheard of.
-They actually sided with the law!
-These generations have produced some of the best
risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
-The past 50 years have been an explosion of
innovation and new ideas.
-We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility,
and we learned
HOW TO
DEAL WITH IT ALL!
-If YOU are one of them . . CONGRATULATIONS!
-You might want to share this with others who have had
the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the
government regulated so much of our lives for our own
good.
-WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!
-First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked
and/or drank while they were pregnant.
-They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from
a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
-Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our
tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored
lead-based paints.
-We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or
cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no
helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
-As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no
car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
-Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was
always a special treat.
-We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a
bottle.
-We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one
bottle and
-NO ONE actually died from this.
-We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and
drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't
overweight because .
-WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !
-We would leave home in the morning and play all day,
as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
-No one was able to reach us all day.
-And we were O.K.
-We would spend hours building our go-carts out of
scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we
forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few
times, we learned to solve the problem.
-We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no
video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video
movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell
phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat
rooms.......
-WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
-We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and
there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
-We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the
worms did not live in us forever.
-We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made
up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we
were told it would happen, we did not put out very
many eyes.
-We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and kno
cked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and
talked to them!
-Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the
team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with
disappointment. Imagine that!!
-The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law
was unheard of.
-They actually sided with the law!
-These generations have produced some of the best
risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
-The past 50 years have been an explosion of
innovation and new ideas.
-We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility,
and we learned
HOW TO
DEAL WITH IT ALL!
-If YOU are one of them . . CONGRATULATIONS!
-You might want to share this with others who have had
the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the
government regulated so much of our lives for our own
good.
-VERY INTERESTING-
1. The Garden of Eden was in Iraq.
2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization!
3. Noah built the ark in Iraq.
4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq
5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!
6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq!
7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq.
8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq.
9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel.
10. Amos cried out in Iraq!
11. Babylon, which is in Iraq, destroyed Jerusalem.
12. Daniel was! in the lion's den in Iraq!
13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had
been in Iraq also as the fourth person in the Fiery furnace!)
14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in
Iraq.
15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into
Iraq.
16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq.
17. The wise men were from Iraq
18. Peter preached in Iraq.
19. The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon,
which was a city in Iraq!
-And you have probably seen this one. Israel is the nation most
often mentioned in the Bible. But do you know which nation is
second? It is Iraq! However, that is not the name that is used in the
Bible The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of Shinar, and
Mesopotamia . The word Mesopotamia means between the two
rivers, more exactly between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. The
name Iraq, means country with deep roots.
-Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant
country in the Bible.
-No other nation, except Israel, has more history and prophecy
associated it than Iraq.
-And also, This is something to think about! Since America is
typically represented by an eagle. Saddam should have read up on
his Muslim passages...
-The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible) Koran
(9:11 ) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a
fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout
the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in
despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the
lands of Allah; and there was peace.
=(Note the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?!
1. The Garden of Eden was in Iraq.
2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization!
3. Noah built the ark in Iraq.
4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq
5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!
6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq!
7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq.
8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq.
9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel.
10. Amos cried out in Iraq!
11. Babylon, which is in Iraq, destroyed Jerusalem.
12. Daniel was! in the lion's den in Iraq!
13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had
been in Iraq also as the fourth person in the Fiery furnace!)
14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in
Iraq.
15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into
Iraq.
16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq.
17. The wise men were from Iraq
18. Peter preached in Iraq.
19. The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon,
which was a city in Iraq!
-And you have probably seen this one. Israel is the nation most
often mentioned in the Bible. But do you know which nation is
second? It is Iraq! However, that is not the name that is used in the
Bible The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of Shinar, and
Mesopotamia . The word Mesopotamia means between the two
rivers, more exactly between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. The
name Iraq, means country with deep roots.
-Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant
country in the Bible.
-No other nation, except Israel, has more history and prophecy
associated it than Iraq.
-And also, This is something to think about! Since America is
typically represented by an eagle. Saddam should have read up on
his Muslim passages...
-The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible) Koran
(9:11 ) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a
fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout
the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in
despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the
lands of Allah; and there was peace.
=(Note the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?!
4
Page
----
By Norma
A Racist??
Submitted by: Rob Ross
*